What should I do? What choice should I make? Which way should I go? When you’ve done the hard work to reach the place where you are living in integrity, decisions will come from a solid, rational place rather than from knee-jerk reactions. No matter the outcome, there will be nothing to regret.
It’s hard to decide, sometimes, and harder still when living in internal chaos. I’m not talking about what shoes to buy or how I’m going to organize my day – I’m talking about major decisions like getting sober, leaving a marriage, learning how to cope and trying to find purpose.
I’ve lived this and can feel a swelling of anxiety as I remember those days. I was always trying to please others then, working hard to fit in and to present an outward face that I was fine and that everything in my life was perfect. I was living in cognitive dissonance because I was compromising my true self daily.
Thankfully, I finally listened and created a support system for myself because trying to go it alone wasn’t working. I found a group of people who helped me with the baby steps that I decided to take. Each step allowed me to speak truthfully and to slowly move into integrity. As my inner core values began to match my outer self, the hard decisions were easier to make.
I didn’t do everything perfectly and I still made mistakes but these mistakes became opportunities to learn and to grow a bit more rather than reasons to shame myself and die just a little bit more. What a shift in perspective!
This is what integrity brings – a shift in perspective and a feeling of flow where there is very little resistance and fewer gaps between my internal feelings of value and the choices I make and the actions I take.
If you’re in the midst of an internal struggle and would like to talk, contact me. I might be able to help you navigate the crossroads you are facing.
“When you feel life at crossroads, you need higher perspective view.”
― Toba Beta