I’m FINE – Really?

Freaked out/F – ed up




Now that you know one of the acronyms for FINE, you won’t be able to flippantly say, “I’m fine!” without smiling to yourself anymore. It’s a perfectly fine word that has been ruined by overuse, usually by people who don’t want to tell you that they’re not fine. I was one of those people, and now I can’t say, “I’m fine” anymore.

I first heard this acronym in a 12-step meeting when someone said, “I’m fine” with a bit of an edge and then everyone laughed – yes, they laughed. Then, realizing what he said, he used some more specific words to describe how he really felt – he said, “I’m angry and I’m freaked out!” The overall feeling in the room was “aah, now we hear you and now that you’ve told the truth, don’t you feel better?” After the meeting, he was surrounded by others who were listening, providing support, writing out phone numbers and digging deeply below the surface – no superficiality there.

I used to be one of those superficial people. I had to look good at all costs and I would never, ever let you know that I wasn’t fine. I was definitely freaked out or f-ed up on any given day. I was insecure, neurotic, emotional and a lot of other things like angry, frightened, depressed, confused and adrift but I’d still say “I’m fine!”

I’m so happy this has changed for me and that the people I choose to spend time with are also able to be honest about what’s going on with them. Living authentically and deeply rather than superficially has changed my life and has allowed true connections to develop. If you’re interested in how I moved from despair to joy, I’ve made two videos where I tell my story. If you watch them, I hope they are helpful and if you can relate please let me know. Now, “How are you?”


Tell the truth about what you are feeling. Tell the truth about what you are thinking. Tell the truth about what you are doing and why.

~ Iyanla Vanzant

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