Pay Attention When Awareness Knocks

You once told me
You wanted to find
Yourself in the world –
And I told you to
First apply within,
To discover the world
within you.

You once told me
You wanted to save
The world from all its wars –
And I told you to
First save yourself
From the world,
And all the wars
You put yourself
Through.

APPLY WITHIN by Suzy Kassem

This poem perfectly describes what I needed to do before I could help anyone else – I had to save myself first. I had to pay attention to the internal battles that were being waged within me for a very long time. I had to face the fact that I was not living a values-based life and that I was putting myself through a daily war – no one else was responsible – just me.

Believe me when I say I resisted mightily and, besides, I had my best friend, my best coping buddy, chardonnay, to help me convince myself that I could manage and solve all of my problems alone. This worked for a long time, until it just didn’t work anymore. That persistent knocking of awareness was no longer being drowned out.

I’ve yet to figure out why I chose to listen and why I chose to sit with awareness one day but I’ll always be grateful that I did. I chose to take a look at how inauthentically I had been living. I was completely out of alignment with my core values and that disconnect was causing me actual physical and psychic pain.

Those first inklings of awareness led me to sobriety and beyond to an emotional sobriety that is demonstrated by being successful in leading a values-based life. I know I slip up every now and then but when I do, I feel it and know what to do to get back on track.

I’ve developed a Values-Based Living Self-Assessment that can help you to see if you are living in alignment with your values and where you might be out of alignment. If you’re curious, check it out – it’s my gift to you. Pay attention when awareness knocks.

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